I touched on weight watchers but not the actual weight loss so much...once again its not easy to talk about.  I am usually the person making fat jokes about myself, it feels like I am just saying what everyone is thinking.  I got depressed and went on a binge to try to fix it...didn't work..but I have a hefty load now to carry around.  Anyone who knows me already knows that I am an open book so here goes....at my heaviest
I weighed 240 lbs then got down to 180 lbs.  I gained back to 208 and last week was my first weigh in at WW and I weighed 204.6 (yay) and I weigh in tomorrow.  I will probably keep my progress on here because...well..I need to.  Thanks for listening!

15...No 5 interesting facts about myself

So I got inspiration from another blog that I read to do a few things to get my blog rolling...first I am going write 15 interesting facts about myself...

1. I love to dye my hair...it is one of my favorite past times (I dyed it tonight)
2. My best friend is my 18 month old nephew Silas...if you met him you would know why
3. My second best friend is my dog, Takumi
4. I got married at 20..I look at my 20 year old nephew and I am like how did that happen???
5. I am addicted to shopping....it is worse when I am manic (a bipolar term)

Okay...much harder than I thought...will do 5 more tomorrow

Weight Watchers

              Maybe it shouldn't be but weight watchers is the most important thing I have going right now as far as conquering the changing of the body.  I am a bit obsessed but if that is what it takes for me to be successful then that is how it shall be.  I check the WW site about 4000 times a day and count my point so diligently and i have even been excising to earn activity points.

               I think I am focusing on body because I am scared of working on the whole spirit and soul part.  I know what I need to do.  I need to get back to church.  But every time I walk into church I get so anxious that i can;t hardly stand it. I will know when and where the right place will be for me in time.  I will continue to pray about it and that is the most important thing right now.  Prayer.  Opening up to God again...I felt like we are strangers right now.  I know he will never leave me or forsake me but I have turned my back on him to a certain extent....lost faith.  Lost faith that good things happen.  That things work out for the better....I have to get that faith back....not that things are perfect but just good.